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Snakes In Movies





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Snakes in Movies
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Amphibians in Movies
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Snake Face
All Movie Snakes
Must Die!
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Want to Kill You!
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to Shock Us
Dancing With Snakes
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Rattlesnakes
Cobras
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Boas, Pythons,
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Python (2000)
Spoiler Alert !

Some of these pictures and descriptions may give away plot details that you might not want to know before watching the film.
 
Python Python Python
Python Python
Python Python
Python Python Python
As terrible made-for-TV giant snake movies go, this is one of the less terrible. It has two ladies getting friendly in a tent, human bodies dissolved into bloody jelly by the acid in a monster snake's digestive juices, a love triangle that makes guys fist-fight on a children's playground with children surrounding them, mountain bikes crashing into police cars, a stupid deputy sherriff, and some not-so-unintentionally funny scenes like the one where a woman is attacked by the monster snake when she's taking a shower and tries to fight it off with baby shampoo and a rubber duckie, but for some reason that doesn't work. Apparently she didn't know the rule that if a woman takes a shower in a monster movie, the monster will attack her there. Best to stay dirty, lady. There are also a few scenes with Will Wheaton as a punk realtor with a purple mohawk who calls his girlfriend dude, and Jennie McCarthy as a sexy home buyer with too much eye makeup.

During the obligatory explanation of what they are dealing with told to the cocky government agents who are sent to fight the snake and always die in these movies, a herpetologist tells them that the snake is "an evolutionary chimera of immense physiological scale with unparallelled abilities and characteristics, a hybrid integrated from a variety of distinct serpentine species." When asked to explain it again in simple layman's terms, he says it's "a very big snake." He also tells them that the snake is "a perfect killing machine. A one hundred and twenty-nine foot all terrain vehicle capable of speeds exceeding 50 miles an hour with skin that can deflect an anti-tank round, enhanced night vision, and a voracious appetite for human flesh."  Those are all the same reasons why I got rid of my Burmese Python 25 years ago. The computer-generated monster python we see looks as bad as all the other movie monster snakes. And like all of them, it does some very un snake-like things: using its pointed tail to stab and decapitate people; picking up people in its mouth and shaking them around like a dog; and shooting corrosive digestive fluids out of its mouth - in other words, it pukes acid. But to show us that not all pythons are bad, there's also a woman with a pet Burmese Python she cuddles, and a herpetologist who carries around his pet Ball Python and kisses it,
Python Python Python
Python Python Python
This monster python movie trys to add some balance to its depiction of snakes by showing people with pet pythons that they like to hug and kiss. A woman named Lisa brings her pet Burmese Python named Lady G on a camping trip with her girlfriend Roberta, who doesn't like it when she finds it inside the tent. Lisa tells her that it doesn't bite, it squeezes, which is true, but anybody who's ever kept a python knows they have a fierce bite. When Lady G escapes and is found by a group at a swimming hole hearby, everybody knows its name and knows that it's Lisa's snake, because Lisa got around.

It's well-know fact that all biologists keep the animals they study as pets, carrying them around wherever they go, and hugging and kissing them affectionately. (That's why I avoid biologists who study infectious diseases or great white sharks.) In this movie there's Dr. Rudolph, a herpetologist who keeps a little Ball Python in his bag that he kisses on the lips and asks a woman to take care of because she's all he has. In my experience this sort of snake love is always unrequited.
 

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